Heartsore

Being heartsore is terrible. It's so constant; I can't get a break from my own internal angst for even a moment. I wish time would speed up to a place where..... Where everything was OK, whatever that will be.

I wish I could get to a place of independence, of knowing what I want out of my life, of feeling comfortable in my own skin, of not wanting Rob so badly I feel compressions in my chest. I wish I could get there without doing any of the work. Why can't it just happen?

And oh then it hits. The hurt, the impossible hurt. The weight of his absence, the pain of every memory.

But wanting to get through this is half the battle right?